Child Abuse & the Sovereign Α&Ω
Summary:
The most heinous of actions is abusing a child. The repercussions and suffering may last a lifetime.
When terrible things, such as child abuse, happen with no apparent justification, asking God for an explanation is often like a toddler asking a doctor to explain, in specific medical terms, exactly what is damaged in their hurting foot. Then, upon hearing the explanation, to expect the toddler to comprehend and then bravely trust the doctor as the treatment causes even more pain.
Besides not comprehending anything this stranger in the white coat has just said, the toddler has no experience with this man and will scream his heart out when the doctor just touches his foot.
Our Creator is omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient. Understanding these terms introduces one to the concept of the Sovereignty of God. Being Sovereign means being in complete control. It means that our Creator has composed and orchestrated every child abuse occurrence along with every other blessing and tragedy.
It is only because of one’s experience with God in their life that they can continue to trust that He is working all things together for the good without understanding His reasons for instigating the pain and suffering.
Following is a glimpse of my journey of following a God who composes and orchestrates child abuse. I do not like considering that this is the God I follow. But my experiences with Father over the past 5 decades leaves me little choice but to acknowledge His Sovereignty, to trust Him, and to wait for greater understanding on the other side of this life.
Please prove to me that this understanding of God’s Sovereignty is false.
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The most heinous of actions is abusing a child. The repercussions and suffering may last a lifetime. Regrettably, every person reading this has been impacted by child abuse, either personally or knowing another who has been abused. This type of suffering does not provide an ‘OPT OUT’ option.
There is a suffering that is voluntary, such as an athlete or a warrior in training, and this type of suffering inherently has an option to quit, to escape from the suffering. But the suffering caused by the abuse of another does not come with an easy escape. Addictions may blunt the suffering, but for those sexually abused, suicide is often the solution. This was the case for a coworker who, in middle school, was asked to draw a picture of what he would be doing at age 21. When the teacher later inquired as to why he had not drawn anything, he told her, “I won’t be alive by then.” When I last saw him, he was in his mid-thirties and working in construction. Regrettably, though, I have met other students who never made it into adulthood.
“So, Steve, why does a loving God allow such horrific things to happen to innocent children?“
This question has been asked for centuries. In grappling with evil in the world, many have simply dismissed the existence of a loving God because evil, such as child abuse, appears to be unconstrained. Others just ignore the question until it is brought up and then, after fumbling with some trite explanations, the question is again sidelined. Others believe man has a free will and that God will swoop in and rescue those hurt by their choices. But for God to thwart the abuse would be to remove man’s free will.
So why does a loving God allow such horrific encounters to happen to those who have done nothing to earn such cruelty? I started wrestling with this question in my teens. I sincerely wanted to understand the reasons. “Why, God, was my mom suffering? Why, God, was I being treated this way? What had we done to deserve these beatings?” I would walk around my dark neighborhood, gaze at the immense galaxies of stars and beg Father to enlighten me as to why all these bad, abusive encounters were happening.
No answer. Feeble conjecture only.
In my mid-twenties, I came to an intersection in my quest to understand. I concluded that fully comprehending the ways of our Creator was not going to happen in my life. My mind is just too minuscule. I now had a choice – to make a hard left turn or to continue to move forward knowing that I would never fully understand Father’s reasons until the resurrection.
Making a hard left turn meant abandoning any relationship with Father just because of too many unanswered questions. It meant that I would be alone to navigate through life and to solve my problems, both those I had created as well as those created by the free will of others. In considering this option, I considered the stories of others who had chosen to live life apart from their Creator. I recalled the tales of crumbling homes, drug addictions, suicides, and lonely defeat. But, at least on this road, there would be no wondering where God was when tragedy struck. It was simply just ‘Karma.’
Unlike making a hard left turn and venturing out on my own, moving forward meant continuing to trust Father even when I did not fully understand his purposes. Did I have that degree of confidence in the one I called my Creator? Had I experienced His reality enough to trust Him without fully understanding the reasons why?
Over the past decade, I knew I had encountered the ‘I AM’. I was confident that Father had been with me through every aspect of that decade, from my last years in High School through starting my engineering career while learning student ministry. I could recount many stories of the high points as well as the lows. Not only was He a companion during the low times, but Father was also transforming me. One milestone occurred just before Christmas 1976, my last year in High School.
At the beginning of my senior year, I had set out to impress God. My daily goals included scripture memory, distributing tracks, and keeping my mind focused on righteous things. I posted these goals near to my bedroom door. Next to those goals, I created a family tree with my name at the top and 24 empty slots for the 24 people that would be saved that school year through my efforts. I did not consider this overly ambitious as I anticipated training several of these new converts to spiritually reproduce. By the Christmas break, I was fulfilling my goals to be a good Christian, except, all 24 slots were still empty.
About the same time as I made my goals to be a good Christian, my dad changed, radically. Instead of ducking him, I enjoyed being with him. His criticism of anything I did had morphed into compliments. A book he had just read prompted this new father. Intrigued, I read it, finishing just before Christmas. That evening, I met with the Spirit of God. He gave me a glimpse into the dark, repulsive character hiding behind my Christian mask. I realized that dad’s earlier accusations that I was selfish, self-centered, and arrogant were spot on. Glimpsing a bit of my genuine nature, I lost all hope of ever pleasing Father or, of even being a good man. Laying on my bedroom floor, blanketed in dark despair, the Spirit whispered, “Wait till you see what WE can do together.” His encouragement gave me hope. The next morning, the posters of my goals and family tree came down. When I returned to school, I decided to no longer try to make opportunities to talk about Jesus, but to wait on the Spirit. He did not disappoint. It seemed like every time I turned around, the Spirit was arranging for me to cross paths with people receptive to the awesome news of Jesus. That was the beginning of being available to nurture what the Spirit was doing in another.
So, to answer my question, YES, this 26-year-old had absolutely and irrefutably experienced Father in the past decade. Up until that point, not fully understanding Father’s ways did not seem to hinder doing life together. But had my experiences garnered enough history with Father that I was willing to trust Him now that I realized I could never fully understand His reasons?
To turn and go it alone or to continue to trust, I still needed to decide. As I debated this decision, the ‘86 Toyota 4Runner I had recently acquired came to mind. To start the engine, the manual stated: PUSH the start button but DO NOT press the gas pedal. This instruction was very odd as my ‘77 Scout II often required a light touch on the gas pedal to coax it to start. What I did not know at the time was that my new Toyota had a small computer that sensed air temperature, humidity, and other conditions, and then adjusted the fuel and air to start on the first push of the button. For me to add any additional gas would foul the process. After following the instructions a few times, I stopped trying to comprehend how it would always start and proceeded to experience the capabilities of this impressive new truck. (About a month later, I was adding stereo speakers and discovered this ‘black block’ with a hundred wires bristling from one side. This was the computer that controlled all the engine functions.)
Thus, I reasoned, if I was willing to start and drive my 4Runner without fully understanding how the sensors and computer interacted, then it would be inconsistent for me to refuse to trust Father just because I could not answer the ‘Why, God?’ questions. That day, I chose to continue following Jesus. I would still pursue understanding but would be content with unanswered questions as I had experienced His reality in so many ways. This decision was to be tested about a decade later.
In the middle of renovating my kitchen in April 1995, Mom called with the tragic news that my 29-year-old brother and another Airman had been killed in an auto accident. The driver who caused the accident was under the influence of something. The next morning, as I was flying to Florida, I recall looking out the aircraft window at the clouds and saying, “Okay Father; I don’t understand why You let this happen, and maybe never will. That is okay. I know that you are sovereign.”
SOVEREIGN. I had only started to grasp the concept of the Sovereignty of God a few years earlier. Sovereign means being in complete control. IF God is all powerful, everywhere at the same time, and knows the hearts and minds of all, THEN our omnipotent, omnipresent, and omniscient Creator composes and orchestrates all the good and the evil we experience.
Prior to considering this aspect of God’s character, I was a proponent of man’s ‘free will’. Man’s free will to hurt others allowed me to rationalize why Father allowed bad things to happen to ‘good people’ (an oxymoron). Up until then, I perceived Father as coming to the rescue, rendering first aid or cleaning up another’s mess. But the Apostle Paul upends this perception in Romans chapter 9 where he states:
What shall we say then? There is no injustice with God, is there? Far from it! For He says to Moses, “I WILL HAVE MERCY ON WHOMEVER I HAVE MERCY, AND I WILL SHOW COMPASSION TO WHOMEVER I SHOW COMPASSION.” …. For the Scripture says to Pharaoh, “FOR THIS VERY REASON I RAISED YOU UP, IN ORDER TO DEMONSTRATE MY POWER IN YOU, AND THAT MY NAME MIGHT BE PROCLAIMED THROUGHOUT THE EARTH.” So then He has mercy on whom He desires, and He hardens whom He desires.
You will say to me then, “Why does He still find fault? For who has resisted His will?” On the contrary, who are you, you foolish person, who answers back to God? The thing molded will not say to the molder, “Why did you make me like this,” will it? Or does the potter not have a right over the clay, to make from the same lump one object for honorable use, and another for common use?
Romans 9:14-21 NASB
IF our Creator is sovereign, THEN He is in absolute control of the abusive uncle and the driver under the debilitating influence of something. Therefore, whatever torment you have been through was first approved, if not initiated, by Father. And whatever suffering that is in your future, that too must be approved by Father prior to you experiencing it.
Before you object too vehemently, consider this scenario:
I am in a room with a child and an adult who starts to molest that child. If I have the freedom and the ability to intervene, yet do not, what is my culpability for this heinous abuse? Would I not be even more guilty for the devastation of that child than the other adult?
IF our God is sovereign, THEN He is proactively orchestrating the evil and the pain the most innocent suffer as a result of another’s actions. I do not like it, nor do I understand God’s ways. But then, what child discerns their parent’s reasoning? And even if the parent explained why, would the child understand and comply? (Only parents may answer this rhetorical question.)
It would be like a toddler asking an orthopedic surgeon to explain, in precise medical terms, what is causing the pain in their foot. Lacking comprehension and having no experience with this odd man in the white coat, the child’s confidence in the surgeon would be minimal, if at all. But the toddler does have a lifetime of experience with the others in the room and if mommy and daddy trust this man, then the child can borrow their trust.
Back in my twenties, I had concluded that I would never fully understand the reasons behind Father’s actions in this life. I was faced with a decision to either ‘throw out the baby with the bathwater’ or understand what little I could and, based on my experiences with Father, trust that He knows what He is doing.
Although I do not have an answer for, “Why does a good God allow such bad things to happen to children?” my decision to trust a sovereign Father has only been reinforced over the past three decades.
What about you? Have you experienced enough of Father’s reality in your life to trust Him with the unanswerable questions? If not, you may borrow my experiences to strengthen your confidence. That is what I do when I have not yet experienced Father in a certain situation, I borrow another’s experiences with God. If He did it for them, He can do it for me as well. Whether I am bolstered by another’s experience or my own, as I choose to trust and follow God, my experiences increase along with my confidence. Some would call that increased confidence - faith.
Would you like to increase your confidence in Father’s abilities? One way is to ask another whose confidence in Father is greater than yours.
