The Practical Atheist Christian Enjoys Porn
First off, how can a Christian be an atheist?
Atheist (noun): a person who does not believe in the existence of a god or any gods. (Merriam-Webster Dictionary.)
But a Christian believes that the Almighty God exists and that they have been adopted into the family of God. But do they act as if Father is real and always with them?
Pornography, an addictive choice that wraps chains around many Christians. Self-discipline and ‘bolting from youthful lust’ sound good until one finds them lacking. Pornography is a choice that tangles one’s emotions and spirit with their body.
But if Jesus were looking over your shoulder, would it still be as rewarding? When He asks you what their name is, what is your answer? When he points to one of the pictures and says, “That one has a mother who prays for her every night.” And then on the next page, he points to another and says, “That young lad became your brother a week ago.”
‘Jesus, just leave me alone so I can pleasure myself.’
But to leave you alone would mean that Jesus is breaking His promise to never leave you.
If a Christian continues to fantasize with pornography, then they are acting like an atheist. Their actions scream that they do not believe that God is real nor that their Savior is there with them. The people in these pornographic images are not real people with mothers and children but mere images to cultivate one’s fantasies. These are ‘Burger King’ encounters where one gets everything they can imagine in exactly the way they want it. When was the last time one’s fantasy mate said, “Not tonight, I have a headache.” Or “Full disclosure, I have ‘the Gift that Keeps on Giving.’”
I think the only way for a Christian to enjoy pornography is if they decide to ignore Father’s presence for that time of pleasuring themselves. I call that being a Practical Atheist, a practice in which I regrettably have a graduate degree.
OVERCOMING PORNOGRAPHY
It is possible to overcome letting one’s lust lure them into the chains of pornography. But don’t worry, the start of a comprehensive answer would take much longer than this short blog. But there are some foundational questions that may help identify your core motivations.
What is my reward? What do I get out of this fantasy encounter?
Escape from loneliness, boredom, or insignificance?
Release of natural chemicals in order to relax?
To be part of the group or demonstrate manliness?
Venting of anger towards another? For abuse?
Condemning yourself for not living up to your standards? (Pride)
Desire for the love of an absent parent?
Desire for acceptance and intimacy, both emotional and sexual?
These are common, core motivations, the bait that ensnares one.
Now take those motivations and ask Jesus what are the ways He designed us to satisfy those needs. You may need to ask others and / or search the Bible. Did you know that Father has provided wisdom on every one of these core motivations?
To those of you who struggle intensely with an attraction to pornography, I can empathize. This is one of those deep ruts that arrests the forward momentum of many.
A Personal Story
Back in my twenties, I had a Scout II 4x4 that could go just about anywhere. One afternoon I am enjoying the day by maneuvering around the Lehigh Valley mountains. I was following these ruts through a swampy field when the ruts became so deep that the earth between the ruts lifted my 4x4 such that my wheels could not get traction. My forward momentum had carried me beyond the point of freeing myself. I just sat there, stuck in the middle of nowhere, wondering how I could have been so stupid to get stuck like this. And how was I going to get out. All I had was my CB radio. A short time later, Father brought along a bigger 4x4 and pulled me back to freedom. I really don’t recall if I asked Father for help at that point or not, but He did.
Pornography is a habit that often lures one in so far that they feel stuck. But Father is greater and will bring along another to drag the person out of that rut. It often is a ‘dragging out’ and it almost always requires another person to help understand how the Presence of Jesus can meet those core desires. One friend told me that when he considers how pornography could decimate his future marriage, he has greater fortitude to resist it.
When one has identified their core motivations and has started to Practice His Presence in satisfying those desires, the temptation of pornography is greatly weakened. Although weakened, it is still there, even at my age.
A Couple of Ideas that Have Helped Me
Back in college, I saw a husband give his wife a fishbowl as an anniversary gift. But it did not have water or fish inside. Instead, there were 52 slips of folded paper, each suggesting one way the husband could demonstrate his love for his wife. Each week of the year, she could choose one of those ways and he would do it.
I liked that idea. So, when I’m lonely and my imagination is tempted by pornography, usually just as I get into bed, I pull up that idea and start working on 52 ways I could demonstrate my love to a future wife. Typically, I have fallen asleep with a smile before I have devised 10 ways.
Another thought is, when tempted, to Practice His Presence with you and ask Him what He is doing in these real people who have been reduced into two-dimensional images. Do they know anything about Him yet or are they still waiting for one to tell them. Ask the Spirit to bring someone across the life of this son or that mother, someone who can demonstrate Father’s love to them. And if they are a real person walking in front of you at the beach or in the store, not just pictures, perhaps that person to demonstrate Father’s love is you. You can always ask them how you may pray for them.
When tempted, remember Jesus is with you, whether you want Him there or not. Ask Him to join you in transforming those 2-D images into real people with names and struggles who need to know Him, who need to be rescued.
Endeavoring to Practice His Presence,
