I Can’t Forgive God
I can’t forgive God.
Fantastic. You are almost there.
Fantastic? How so?
Well, since you cannot forgive God, then that must mean that:
You believe that God exists.
You believe God desires to interact with you personally. Otherwise, for what reason would God perform such an act that has offended you personally.
You believe in a God who is all-powerful. Otherwise, it would be illogical to blame him for something over which He has no control.
If you cannot forgive God, then these must be what you believe. Otherwise, how can you justly accuse the Almighty God of causing your suffering?
Not what you believe? Then the god you cannot forgive is likely not the Almighty Creator. Your god could be a real entity, spiritual or physical, that manipulates you with words you want to hear. But since you are NOT talking about the one true God, whatever it is that you cannot forgive, know that your god does not care. Like others who have offended you, your god just goes on doing whatever your god does. You, on the other hand, are left with the unforgivable offense continuing to eat away at your soul.
Now, if the one you cannot forgive does NOT care about you, I suggest that you start searching for the True God, your Creator. He will hear your request to meet Him. In fact, He is hoping to hear from you.
But, if you already believe in our Creator God, then you are close to being free of that offense gnawing away at your soul.
Again, how so?
As you know, every story has at least two sides. Have you considered the Almighty God’s side of your suffering? What might His reasons be for bringing this suffering on you?
Possible reasons for suffering:
1) Punishment for rebelling against God. When someone cuts you off on the road and gives you the finger, you probably feel a bit of anger rising. When someone rebels against God, essentially saying: ‘I am going to do what I want to do whether you like it or not.” they are flipping God the bird. Surprisingly, that angers the Almighty. He may choose to punish them at that time, or perhaps later. But it will come.
Punishment for rebelling against God is one reason for pain and suffering. If this is the reason behind your suffering, does God need to apologize to you or do you need to apologize to Him?
2) Suffering that sets one up for experiencing the Almighty God. In John 9:1-3, Jesus heals a dude born blind. When asked if this man’s blindness was a punishment, Jesus states no. Jesus then states that in this case, his suffering “was so that the works of God might be displayed in him.” That story will take some time to unpack, but not right now.
What Jesus is stating is that one’s suffering may not have anything to do with what they, or their parents, may have done to anger the Almighty God.
3) Discipline and Training. In Hebrews 12, the writer is encouraging us to persevere through the suffering as none of us have yet suffered as much as Jesus. Then a few sentences later, the writer introduces love driven discipline – not for a wrong done, but for developing and improving on one’s talents. This is an understandable concept as it is the training that happens between a child and parent or an athlete and coach. Although the training ‘drills’ are typically difficult and unpleasant, they are to improve the performance of the child or athlete. What athlete could object to that?
Thus, another purpose of suffering is to achieve a goal, to improve and maximize one’s performance. Athletes have the maxim: No Pain, No Gain. Yet, curiously, a person tends to embrace the pain until that point where they no longer have the ability to ‘Opt Out’. Then the whining begins. Another maxim is: ‘Perseverance starts when one feels like quitting.’
Therefore, since this suffering is for your improvement, perhaps thanking our Heavenly Father would be more appropriate than taking offense at events meant for your good.
Now, if you are still baffled as to the reasons behind your suffering, ask the Spirit of God to illuminate the issue(s) and listen. Do not bother arguing that He is wrong, trust me, you will eventually loose. Listen. Then respond accordingly.
Personally, other than for my rebellious acts, I have often suffered without fully understanding the purpose. It could be some mix of the last two reasons. It could also be suffering with another’s growth process. This is a common experience of a parent who is suffering with the child’s growth process, whether as an infant, toddler, or a teenager. Personal improvement, pursuing understanding, and learning how to love others is a matter of trial and error and repetition. Similar to a teen enthusiastically learning to ‘play’ the drums at home, those others in the home will be suffering until he gets it right. (Or gets an electronic set that requires headphones or an amp.) Personally, my house guest suffers, and chuckles, as he hears me fumbling to learn Spanish. Love for another allows one to overlook the annoyance of their learning process.And there are other times when I cannot fathom the Father’s purpose in suffering. During those times, I review what Jesus endured for me and affirm that I have an AWESOME, omnipotent God who loves me intently. Part of this affirmation is recalling again the following truths, sometimes more frequently than once an hour.
For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:3
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters; and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified.
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? Romans 8:28-31 NASB20.
If this is your God, then consider apologizing for being offended and thank Him for ALL that He is doing for you through both the enjoyable times and the misery of suffering.
Endeavoring to Practice His Presence,
